Here’s another one: female orgasm cannot be achieved through any method besides stimulation of the clitoris.
I’ve had women friends of mine argue over the second fact quite vehemently. However, it is in fact, fact, and after discussing the subject, every one of my friends had the light bulb go on. Yes, of course. The clitoris. Duh. There's still much confusion about the female orgasm thanks to Freud’s teachings being embraced for decades as the epitome of women’s psychological sciences. Gross, but we can't blame him entirely. Abstinence focused education and the female anatomy maintaining a “mystical” and “icky” quality in mainstream culture isn’t helping any either.
Throughout much of the 20th century “frigidity” – the inability of women to achieve vaginal orgasm – was a common diagnosis among housewives. Women sought help from psychologists and psychoanalysts desperate to explain their physical dissatisfactions in the bedroom. Frigidity was diagnosed en masse and described as “the failure to adjust to their role as women.” Freud posited that a woman who develops properly achieves a transfer of her pleasure center from the clitoris (considered undeveloped) to the vagina (properly developed). In 2015 this sounds as insane as it actually is, but you can imagine why a scientific body comprised entirely of men would perpetuate such nonsense about vaginal vs. clitoral stimulation. It’s wishful thinking at its best and most transparent. Probably the same type of people who think the uterus will "shut itself down" if a woman is being raped. These are the people running our country, but I digress. CLITORIS! FOCUS.
Any study of the female anatomy would, and has, disregarded this pseudo-science and brought the attention squarely back to the true pleasure center: the clitoris. In reality, the vagina is not a highly sensitive area and isn’t designed to achieve orgasm. Any woman who has used a tampon knows there’s no pleasure to it. Any woman who has ever gone to the gynecologist knows she’s not aroused and anticipating instruments being put up there. In fact, the vagina walls are less sensitive than most other parts of the body and are – by design (to accommodate child birth, intercourse, etc.) - meant withstand tremendous amounts of pressure and strain. Any pleasure derived from the vagina walls is an extension of the clitoris, just as any pleasure derived from nipples, lips, ears - fuck it - even your arm, is an extension of a woman's physical pleasure center: the clitoris.
The clitoris, unlike the vagina, is immensely sensitive and the nucleus of female pleasure. Some women are initially skeptical of the vagina vs. clitoris debate because many, myself included, have achieved orgasm “vaginally.” Or so we have thought. This confusion lies is the miraculous-ness of the female anatomy, and how the clitoris can be stimulated to the point of orgasm without direct physical contact (JUST LIKE A PENIS CAN). It can be stimulated through an array of mental processes, fantasies, and fetishes (the brain is the largest sex organ in the body). It can be stimulated through touching other body parts, by witnessing someone else touch their body parts or by moving in a certain manner. That scene from “40 Days 40 Nights” comes to mind when Josh Hartnett (hey, 90s heartthrob!) makes a girl orgasm by caressing her with a flower. (Not sure if that’s based in science but I’ll get back to you after I test the theory)
While the cause of female orgasm, no matter how it is stimulated, may often be psychological or a combination of psychological/physical stimulation, the orgasm physically manifests itself through the clitoris, the clitoris only, 100% of the time. Women have often reported only being able to orgasm in particular sex positions such as being on top or in the missionary position. It’s not a coincidence that these positions provide pressure to the clitoris via the pelvic bone. Additionally, direct stimulation to the clitoris causes it to swell in size and increase sensitivity, allowing any friction during intercourse, no matter the position, to be more effective in procuring pleasure.
No proof to the power of the clitoris is more definitive than the gross prevalence of FGM (female genital mutilation), a popular practice among religious fanatics and terrorist groups alike. Cut the clitoris and women cannot be sexually stimulated to achieve orgasm. FGM, a cruel and convenient tool in the control and suppression of women and their human rights, is still forced on millions of women and young girls every year. Taking a woman’s pleasure out of the sexual experience removes her from her rightful place as the equal, the Moon, the Goddess, the mercy, the light and sensibility in all things, to… simply a reproductive vessel. A tool used to help breed armies.
The female orgasm is important in that it requires two people to say, “I need you to help me do this amazing thing.” Whether it’s for achieving pleasure for pleasure’s sake, deepening the emotional/spiritual connection between two people, or for creating life itself, sex is the investment of two parts of a greater whole using their bodies together for good. Removing female pleasure from the equation results in a domination, a man saying, “I am going to use your body and do what I want with it.”
The clitoris as the nexus of the female orgasm is good news for women and men alike. We all joke about struggling to “find the clitoris” and the poor schlub who hopelessly searches for a woman’s clit like the Ark of the Covenant. (Side note: Indiana Jones totally knows where the clit is) The reality is all it takes is a finger, or a tongue, or the right angle during intercourse to make a woman think their partner is a sexual god. Girth and penis length are like suped up extras you order with a car. I’ve met my share of men with all of the top-of-the-line equipment but, when it came to getting me off, were total lemons.
The clitoris is right in the front. If you can’t find it, ask. If he can’t find it, tell him. If you don’t know where it is on your own body, feel around. You’ll know when you find it. Google it if you must! One millimeter in one direction or the other is all it takes to be completely lost or hit a bull’s-eye. It’s so easy to find that sometimes it accidentally rubs on narrow bike seats and horse saddles, which can make family outings awkward and should also give you a new perspective on the fanatical nature of “horse girls.” Embrace the clit and all of its power. It’s all you need. A tiny, magic button from which all sexual pleasure and stimulation is derived. Man or woman, find the right way to press it and female orgasm is as easy to achieve as microwaving a hot pocket.
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, Alfred C. Kinsey, Pocketbooks, 1953
Female Sexuality, Marie Bonaparte, Grove Press, 1953
Human Sexual Response, Masters and Johnson, Little, Brown, 1966
The works of Georg Ludwig Kobelt, 19th Century